Here’s the Secret to Communicating With Irrational, Angry or Crazy People

Everyone could use these strategies!

TIME

We all have to deal with our share of hotheads and crazies. What does research say works with them?

First off, you can’t get angry too. Because then there are two crazy people arguing. While very entertaining to onlookers, this doesn’t accomplish much.

Tell yourself they are having a bad day and that it’s not about you:

Telling yourself that an angry person is just having a bad day and that it’s not about you can help take the sting out of their ire, a new study suggests… the researchers monitored participants’ brain activity and found that reappraising another person’s anger eliminated the electrical signals associated with negative emotions when seeing angry faces.

They’re being crazy. You’ll want to shut them up or talk over them. Don’t. It’s a natural reaction but it doesn’t work.

[time-brightcove videoid=3976375908001]

They don’t think they’re wrong. They’ll just interpret it as a…

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2 thoughts on “Here’s the Secret to Communicating With Irrational, Angry or Crazy People

  1. Great article! Thanks for posting it. Now to bring it down to a toddler….so that he won’t be like this in kindergarten….first, do you have kindergarteners who get irrational when they want something they can’t have or do? For example, recess is over and it’s time to go back inside?
    Our 2 year old toddler grandson loves being “outside.” In fact it’s one of his favorite words. Usually when I bring him home from daycare (when we’re visiting) he plays outside either with me or grandpa….the other is inside preparing dinner. Yesterday we got back late (had to get gas and some things from Walmart) so no time for outside. His mommy was home from work and dinner ready. I knew we had trouble coming when he started chanting outside once we hit the neighborhood. I started saying “mommy’s home, don’t you want to see mommy?” She’s 8 1/2 months pregnant so she’s a bit tired and not much fun after work. So can’t blame him. Then talked about daddy. “Daddy’s home. Don’t you want to see daddy?” No. Daddy is the disciplinarian….ok, grandpa is his favorite. But he’s getting dinner ready…..but doesn’t want to see him either. His daddy works nights, BTW. So inside we go and the tears start. He’s inconsolable. So out comes the emergency soother, the pacifier. It works for a few minutes. He’s eating a little, then it starts. He begins throwing whatever he can reach and then gets inconsolable again. We put him in the pack and play in the other room for time out. We finish our dinner. Poor guy….his ears were bright red not to mention his face….heartbreaking. This went on for 30 min. Grandpa gets him and he’s his happy self for 30 minutes. The. Dad starts the bath time routine. He never cries for it. But he did….
    Yikes! Will this continue? What I’d he keeps it up in kindergarten? Your wisdom?

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  2. It sounds like you have your hands full! A lot of this behavior will iron itself out especially if he goes to daycare or pre-school since peer pressure works in the positive as well as negative. My advice to you is be firm, give 5 minute warnings before transitioning and pre-talk before you go outside. Ask, “what is it going to look and sound like when it’s time to go inside?” Warn him if he doesn’t come inside when you say so, he will sit on a bench or chair for as long as he makes you wait the next time you go out. What ever you say or do be consistent and make sure he understands you are in control of time, not him. I hope this helps!

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